Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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