Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
