So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can't turn off my feet"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
