Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
too bad you live with your parents still
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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