Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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