Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
