He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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