Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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