and she was petting her beer can
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
