Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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