I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
