What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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