I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
