Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
