Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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