I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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