My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
