Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How naked do you want me to be?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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