every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
