HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
