Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
