if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
