i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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