You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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