i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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