I'm going to rape someone's good day.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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