Just mADE A PArabola og urine
this boner is exhausting
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
