Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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