i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
