I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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