Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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