so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
please don't ironically join a cult
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