my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
