the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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