I think my fart just growled at me.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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