Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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