My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
