so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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