I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
