these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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