I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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