Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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