it's not cheating when I paid for it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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