We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
