left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
