I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
