Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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