go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
