do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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