So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
