I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
